finding the words to say

By: Shelbi Henny

crumbling pieces of paper
scrambling words that show no meaning
gifted 
in solidifying our encounters
throwing off my equilibrium 
foreseen to cry 
in the same space that you left me 
yet wanting to project a better vibe
and move forth 
the distance that cradles me in silence
I don't want to sit here
shaming victimless deeds
when clear as crystal waters 
I am in need 
of divorcing the connection 
that smoothly moved me down the riverbank 
that cursed my mind to make me feel this way
purgatory
headphone sets of countless keys
dangling in directions 
that predict my death
all I have are these words 
pieces of papers I've crumbled up 
trying to find the words 
conjunctions, nouns, adverbs
when, how, and why
I have yet to find the words