mourning

Truthfully, I think that this was the hardest pill to swallow. You was the link and light into our family. And anyone you met could remember a smile that you imprinted on them. I still remember the day I got the news you were gone. I was young at the time, and the news of hearing your only hero pass was an unbearable feeling. My cousins and I always use to bicker and fight, but at that moment I felt our bond develop within us. I lived with my grandparents back then. And to go home from school or even fall asleep and not hear your voice hurt far deeper than any gunshot wound or missile. You were more than a grandfather. A true philosopher, motivational speaker, counselor, comedian, father, and bestfriend all wrapped up into one individual. Living on a dead end straight and people still walk by your house just to talk to you speaks volumes. Your character was justified by positivity and inspiration. Although you are no longer here, you live on thru our family. Everyday I look at my aunties, uncles, brothers, cousins, grandma, and mother and see a piece of you within us.

No one can be replaced. No one can ever fill a void. And when you lose a loved one, friend, family, or even an acquaintance. First you think of how and why this happened. When truthfully we must accept that it was there time. That there was a higher power who needed them far more than we did. That with so much going on in this world, a true final vacation of peace and tranquility  has been given to them in death. Secondly we hold regret in our hearts, for which we wonder if you would have been there, called more, visited more, or even sad one last thing would that made a difference. And honestly never hold regret in your heart. What ifs drive you crazy. They will never justify the true meaning of your love. Love is not materialistic nor is time. And every moment you do have speaks volumes to your love. They truly know your heart. You will be surprised at the little significance that was remembered and transpired. And last but not least, Memories flowed your thoughts. Hold on to them and cherish them. Those are the beautiful blessings that mold your heart. That is the constant peace of mind to ease the pain.

There is never a moment where it gets easy. To this day I still think of my grandfather, yet I always smile. Without him I wouldn’t be who I am. I wouldn’t love this hard. Everyday I try to make him proud. I feel his spirit with me. Death is never easy, but to fully heal we must understand the true meaning of the encounters. Crying is therapy. Let it out as much as possible. Recollecting memories are reminders. Paying homage to them is by living and being the best we can be for them.