drinking therapy

By: Shelbi Henny

scolding the indiscretion 
I was fixed on being better
and though I was fearless
I still hesitate 
from the conclusion that I must brace myself
snipping into this collection of my thoughts
that never seem complete
I feel better knowing that I am close
spiritually believing in a heart 
that has been torn and blown up
is a risk trip
that never seems to hold weight 
grabbing for foolish 
consequence that mold the smile and tears
knowing I can never be fairy 
creating fantasy that lives 
only in mind tricks
and not being the genuine creature
that hides behind stories
and leaving the pedestal that was built by you
I crumble at this bottle 
and hide behind this shot
twisting like a lime
I recall the reaction to a slurred call
a blurry kiss was placed on your lips 
yet you knew that it was sealed with an empty promise
of being true
being worth more than this
you make me feel this is it
this is what I deserve
a chaser of cool ice
I want to feel the wrath 
pass out from the concussion
that knowing I did this
yet you start the emotions
blaming nothing but precision
I can only drink the pain away