I was 12 years old in this photo. I was spending the summer with my cousin in Baton Rouge, LA. Her grandmother’s house seemed like a mansion to me. I didn’t know anyone or been in a two story home before. There was a stone wall in the guest room. I was a small town country girl. That had no sister or mom around to teach me how to play or even try to be girly. We went to get our nails done that day, which I didn’t know what to do with those things. She was like let’s dress up. I let her dress me up and we started posing in different spots throughout the house. She did my hair and here came this photo.
I was very shy. After we printed these photos, I was hooked on this one photo. I didn’t look my age. The thoughts that kept me hooked on this one photo was I finally looked like what I seen in magazines. A beautiful dimension of frozen intellect. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see that person, yet in this particular photo I saw potential. And when you go out into the world, real life is not photoshopped or filtered. You have to look at a person and all their glory. I was so excited about this one photo I had to post it on Myspace. I wanted the world to see my pretty glamour shot. And you know what I only got 2 likes on this photo. When my classmates were bent over on their mom’s sink. Stealing makeup from their relatives or beauty supply stores to look older. I lived with my grandparents, and makeup for little girls was simply a sin, unless you dress up for Sunday mass. I still don’t know how to put on makeup. Not knocking in any of my ladies that due. Honestly I sometimes envy you. I know my pimple needs a hiding day. Or sometimes I feel like I might need that extra “umph” to give pure sexy flavor. I just could never master it. I might cut my hair one day and then add weave to bring it back. I am a woman I do go through changes. We all define our own beauty. And now that I look at this photo I see my innocence. How my eyes revealed how lost I was. How I was a child starving for attention? How I was trying to understand how I wasn’t born into having the finer things?
We all go through our own style or journey, that leads us to being different. Never forget pictures are a form of art. To hold and capture the moments that seem unforgettable. The times we reminisce that morph into constant remedies of emotions we hold dear to our hearts. Scenes sculpted into artistic features that hold more than what meets the eye. And as I look back I truly can say that I am blessed to have seen so many outlets and different ways of life. Everyone isn’t born with a silverspoon in their mouth. And not everyone is struggling in poverty. It doesn’t matter where you come from…It all about where you want to go. You direct that. So look beyond and look into my eyes in this photo …What do you see? Where am I from? Where am I headed?